My life is crazy

I don't post a lot about my personal life (or at all, really!) because I'm too busy living it for the most part. But sometimes it's crazy.

We just got back from a wonderful vacation in Tennessee with family. It was so great to spend time with my brother- and sister-in-law, their kids, and their family friend (who really hit it off with our daughter!). We don't see them often enough so I'm glad we took the opportunity to share a vacation with them.

While we were there I learned to kayak and discovered I really enjoy it. I think I might take some lessons or rent a kayak soon and go out on the river or one of the lakes around here.

I also had a nice breakfast with one of my best friends, which I don't get to do often enough since we're both so busy. Thankfully we can stay in touch online, too, but when I do go out with her I really enjoy and appreciate her company.

I went back to work yesterday after being out for a week. Someone had helpfully pulled my door closed. I remember pulling it almost closed, so everyone could see the vacation sign on it. I had plans to work my tail off to catch up, because we're down two, soon to be three people, and I was out for a week. Well, someone else probably accidentally pushed the lock in and when it got pulled closed, I was locked out of my office.

Until noon when a dedicated HR employee and the building handyman were able to completely destroy the knob.

So needless to say I didn't get half as much work done. I did go through some physical proofs that had come in, so at least I had something to do. I am also very grateful I could get it at all because I work from home Wednesdays and I did not want to go in on Wednesday to get my computer that was locked up in the office.

The thing is, I want to spend as much time as I can with my kids. They're both still pretty little and I don't want to miss anything. I value my Wednesdays a lot, even though I have to pry the kids off my lap or legs and tell them to go play with their dad most of the time. Even if one is sitting on my lap drooling on my page proofs as I flip through them.

And even though I just spent the whole week with them both,  which was great, that also means that Rory got really attached to me. So he wasn't thrilled when I went back to work, and my game plan was to work a day, be home two days (one working, one not), then work in the office the other two so he had an easy transition back to me working.

So I was thrilled to get in the office but not so thrilled to get even further behind.

As a working mom, I always feel like I'm having to half-ass something. Work or parenthood or the house or myself. It's not a good feeling sometimes. But seeing my kids' faces light up when I am home makes it all worth it.

I am also very lucky to have their father, who is an awesome stay at home parent and who takes such great care of them. I keep telling myself the kids are growing up so fast, and all this other crap will still be here when they don't want Mama so much anymore. That makes everything else just sort of fade into the background (it also makes me sad, but that's another story).

We are all just doing the best we can and hoping it's good enough. It helps to remind yourself of that sometimes.